I first heard the term “elder orphan” a few years ago. Typically, it refers to seniors who are aging alone. They have no spouse or partner, and no children to step into the role of caregiver.
AARP recently estimated that 20 percent of the aging population, or 8.6 million people older than 65, are now “orphans” or at risk of becoming an elder orphan. By 2050, this number will mushroom to 16 million or higher.
That is a lot of people coping with aging alone with little to no family support. This number does not even count those adult children who are unwilling or incapable of providing care to their aging parents.
What can you do now to be prepared? Is there a strategy that will allow you to age successfully and remain independent for as long as possible? Here are a few basic suggestions:
Plan early: Don’t wait until you are in a crisis. If you live alone, assume you need to be building your support team.
Do you have friends who could respond in an emergency? Neighbors who might agree to check on you? Someone who could drive you to the doctor? Does your place of worship have a crisis outreach program?
Consciously build your team and, most importantly, talk with them about your plan. Make sure your support team are not all your age! This includes your attorney, accountant, financial planner and doctor. They won’t be around to help you in your 80s when you need it most.
Adapt your home: Make your home safe to age in place. Put in the grab bars and the raised toilet that you have been thinking about. Make sure you have a shower you can get into easily. Put up banisters on staircases, inside and out. Eliminate trip hazards. Build a ramp down backyard steps.
Look for someone certified in senior home modifications or a Certified Aging in Place specialist. A little money spent now could allow you to be safe in your home for years to come.
Appoint a proxy, a health care surrogate and power of attorney: Who is your most trusted friend or relative? Ideally, they need to live close enough to meet you at the hospital in an emergency. They should know your Social Security number, current medications and where you keep your insurance information.
If they are your health care surrogate, they need to be able to make critical health care decisions for you based on your wishes. Your proxy will know who to call on your behalf if you were unable to. If you develop dementia, your durable power of attorney can make decisions for you.
This person might be all three in one, or three different people, but all are absolutely critical for anyone — especially for an elder orphan. If you have no family member or friend, look for an attorney who specializes in elder law and talk with them about becoming your proxy.
Consider moving: While the majority of seniors want to stay in their own home and age in place, this may not be your best option. The better question to ask is, “How can I maximize my ability to live independently?”
Start by asking yourself a few more questions like, “What if I could no longer drive?” Maybe moving to a community that provides transportation is key for you.
Is your current house to big or too overwhelming for you to manage? Maybe moving to an urban area where you can walk to everything will work for you.
Many great retirement communities exist today. Make sure you know what is offered in your community by visiting them and make an informed decision.
Live healthy: How you take care of yourself in your 40s or 50s will seriously affect your health in your 60s and 70s. If you want to age well, then you have to ask yourself if you are doing all you can to be able to live independently well into your 80s or 90s.
Chronic illnesses start long before you hit your senior years. Implement a lifestyle that will help you maintain a healthy body and mind. This includes your mental health.
If you are one of the millions of Americans who are elder orphans or at risk for aging alone, start to plan now. There are many decisions you can make today that will allow you to age successfully in the future.
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