Black Lives Matter has become a rallying cry for millions of people around the world as collectively, we face the truth about racism. Within no time however, people started pushing back with “All Lives Matter.”

If you were like me, you may have not seen any conflict in these two statements at first. To be honest, I wanted to stay in my Utopian world where both could exist as equals. Why can’t “Black Lives Matter” and “All Lives Matter?” Why do we have to create a dichotomy where none should exist?

Therein lies the heart of the matter. The truth is we live in a world where Black lives pay a dear price for the color of their skin and they have for over 400 years. I don’t think God assigns color to our souls, but while all of us matter in God’s eyes, here on planet earth it is another story altogether.

If you happen to be born Black, you have a much higher chance of suffering from serious health issues, mediocre education, poor housing and discrimination of all kinds in employment opportunities, equal pay and promotions — and the list goes on and on. If you are Black, police brutality, unequal application of the rule of law and high rates of being incarcerated is more normal than not. This country has a long long history of Black lives NOT mattering on so many levels.

There is no arguing this truth. There is no need to counter with “All Lives Matter.” That is simply not the point. Inherent in this response is a BUT … All Lives Matter. I was missing the whole point at first, and maybe you, dear reader, did as well.

Black people are not saying their lives matter anymore than others. This was never meant to be a comparison. This is a bold statement that requires us to pay attention.

Black lives have not been treated by history as if they do matter and this statement is a cry for this to end. Listen to this cry for what it truly is; a time of reckoning, truth telling and acknowledgment that in particular, Black Americans need to know and hear from all of us that their lives matter.

I see it as an affirmation of their own self-worth. This is no time for mocking or funny T-shirts claiming “Irish Lives Matter,” etc.

According to the renowned award-winning author, social science researcher and empathy pioneer, Karla McLaren, “Staying in segregation reduces empathy and it reduces creative imagination; we need both to create an anti-racist world.” Her book, “The Art of Empathy: A Complete Guide to Life’s Most Essential Skill,” should be mandatory reading.

What happened to our empathy as a nation? America, land of liberty and justice for all? A friend recently reminded me of the words to a song I grew up with from the Broadway musical, “South Pacific,” by Rogers and Hammerstein.

“You’ve got to be taught to hate and fear,

You’ve got to be taught from year to year,

It’s got to be drummed in your dear little ear,

You’ve got to be carefully taught.

You’ve got to be taught to be afraid,

Of people whose eyes are oddly made,

And people whose skin is a diff’rent shade,

You’ve got to be carefully taught.

You’ve got to be taught before it’s too late,

Before you are six or seven or eight,

To hate all the people your relatives hate,

You’ve got to be carefully taught.”

That about sums it up. You have to learn to hate. It’s an education bestowed upon us by our family and relatives, that we didn’t ask for. We are not born this way. Many people “wake up” and unlearn harmful falsehoods.

We need to reconnect to our “sustainable empathy and compassion skills,” as McLaren reminds us. Imagine if we had to attend empathy classes! We could improve every aspect of our lives, relationships and workplace.

Let’s not let ourselves be defined by the current political culture that reflects the worst America has to offer. We are more than that. Let’s use our collective “creative imagination” to reinvent new ways to discover our relatedness.

Lining up “Black” and “all” as somehow opposites does nothing but polarize and segregate us further. Beginning with our Black brothers and sisters we need to recognize our common humanity, our common values, our shared empathy for all individuals … no matter their color, their religion, their sexual orientation and, yes, even their political affiliation.